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i wake up, tears in my eyes;
bad dreams can kill you.
i tell you my secrets.
you tell me you care,
but there's no compassion in your eyes;
all i see are thoughts turning in your head.
'she's crazy' you think; you're right.
i tell you the meds aren't working like they should,
you tell me it takes time.
i don't have time; i'm finished waiting, have been for awhile.
i say goodbye, thanks for nothing, thanks for everything.
there are no beautiful suicides.
that's what you say at least.
well, i'll fucking throw that theory out the window.
i'll throw it out with myself.
i say i can't keep waiting and hoping for spots of happiness,
i'll die soon, my head filled with glory.
i'll jump from this building, into the cement;
never heard from again.
scratch that, you'll hear from me;
i'll haunt you in your dreams.
you'll tell yourself you could have stopped me.
you tell yourself lies.
you dream of the truth.
i am gone, except for the sta
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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